Humor: Nebraska Politicians Propose Sex-Offender Amendments to the Bible

They’re not clear on exactly how they intend to make it happen, but some Nebraska politicians are proposing amendments to the Bible.

We have obtained a copy of some of the proposed changes, which still are in draft form. The politicians are reviewing them to see if they can be made even more harsh.

Here are four of the Nebraska politicians’ proposed Biblical amendments (current wording in black, proposed amendment in red):

MARK 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him (unless he’s a sex offender), so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. If he’s a sex offender, well, never mind.

EPHESIANS 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other — except for you sex offenders — just as in Christ God forgave you, unless you’re a sex offender.

MATTHEW 18:21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Then Peter asked, “But what if he’s a sex offender?” Jesus answered: “Ummmm, not so much.”

CORINTHIANS 2:5-8

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. Except for sex offenders, who deserve to be overwhelmed by any pain you can inflict.

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